ello, my name is Bryce Anderson, and here is a little bit about myself: Since I joined Scientology in 1996, I've been clearing engrams and body thetans like gangbusters! Every time I'm hooked up to an engrammeter, I know that I'm one session closer to ridding myself of my unethical desire to have an affair with Nicole Kidman.

I have three goldfish named Huey, Dewey, and a very SP ex-wife who doesn't realize that the $20,172 I've spent on Scientology courses has made me a more loving, more ethical person. Lucille, if you're reading this, I'm sorry about having to disconnect for a while, but you'll realize it was for the best when you finally allow one of the auditors to hook electrodes up to your body.