Giving the Illusion of Owning a Highly Accredited Website
by Bryce Anderson
Congratulations! We have recognized that your web site has accomplished an excellent job in its quality of content, flow of information, and its graphic style.
- From an e-mail I got long before I ever put up a website.
My Weird Ideas
Books I've Read
About Me

This page has been visited times since the Illuminati killed JFK. This site was last updated sometime around 3 AM.
You've visited such award-laden sites as The Scientology Awards Page and are now thinking, "Hey, why can't I make MY site so self-congratulatory? Actually, it's quite easy to do so. Check out mathew's webscan to see how the $cientologists did it. Once you realize just how easy this whole award business is, it will only be a matter of time before a whole slew of images grace your site!

Currently, my awards come from The Corporation. In their own words, "THE CORPORATION doesn't have the time to come review your lousy little site," so they simply post the pictures and tell you how to award them to yourself.

There are many other awards out there which are free for the taking. The Bottom 5% award is an excellent one. I can't bring myself to award me one, though. I'd like to think my simple, yet eye-pleasing layout, coupled with my insightful wit, would elevate me above all the actively horrid sites, to take my rightful place among the mediocre. Speaking of mediocrity, if you're still smarting from being rejected by the "Top 5%" people, there are several "Bottom 95%" awards out there just for you! [1] [2] By flaunting your inadequacy in the eyes of the self-proclaimed experts, you can strike a blow for glitzless, frame-free sites everywhere!

Last, but certainly not least, The Boodle Box is a comprehensive site for finding all sorts of free awards, unique "Under Construction" symbols, and a tres chic "THIS SITE BEST VIEWED WITH A WEB BROWSER" logo.

I plan to begin handing out my own awards just as soon as I come up with something suitably ridiculous. Once I've created a proper icon, I'll begin by awarding one to myself, and then let everyone else have a crack at it.


Copyright 2000
by Bryce Anderson