End User License Agreement
by Bryce Anderson
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This page has been visited times since my poor gerbil Phil said his final goodbyes.
   
By accessing any page under the domain idafab.tripod.com, you and your direct descendants to the twentieth generation [hereafter referred to as suckers] have agreed to the following terms, conditions, and restrictions:
  • You are authorized to maintain a single copy of an idafab.tripod.com page in your browser cache, solely for your personal use. You will not create any other copies of any pages or images of this website, either individually or en masse, nor any portion thereof.
  • By accessing idafab.tripod.com or any related page, you waive all rights under the Fair Use Doctrine. No excerpt of these pages may appear in any future work by you. Single words with three letters or fewer ("it," "the," "and," etc.) may be used in a derivative work without permission from the author, so long as such quotes make up less than ten percent of the derivative work. idafab.tripod.com claims sole and exclusive rights to the letter "K".
  • By accessing idafab.tripod.com, you agree to allow searches for violations of the terms of this agreement, either by the webmaster or his designated representative. Said search includes, but is not limited to: your place of residence, place of work, the contents of your computer and all related media (including, but not limited to tape backups, floppy disks, cd-roms, Zip(tm) disks, 8-track cartridges, and stone tablets etched with ones and zeroes), and the body cavities of any family members, houseguests, or pets.
  • At sole discretion of the webmaster of idafab.tripod.com you must, from time to time, consent to having your mail opened and read by the webmaster or his designated representative.
  • All proceeds from any biography, PBS documentary, or made-for-television movie of your life shall be transferred immediately to the webmaster. The webmaster has sole editorial control of any such work, and must be allowed to make any final revisions on the film script or manuscript.
  • Any attempt to reverse-engineer any portions of this website is prohibited. Violators shall be subjected to death via a mind-numbingly dull explanation of the TCP/IP protocol stack or the OSI networking model (webmaster's discretion). Use of the "View Source" option of your browser is expressly prohibited.
  • Persons under the age of 18 are prohibited from accessing this site. Under the terms of this agreement, such persons are required to immediately shut down the computer and go outside. I've wasted enough of your time already.
  • You agree to migrate the computer you are currently using over to the Linux distribution of your choice. Diskless workstations and Palm PC's with internet browsing capabilities are NOT exempt from this requirement.
  • The contents of idafab.tripod.com are distributed on an "as-is" basis, and the webmaster offers no guarantee that any page, image, or other work is fit for any particular purpose. This includes the "purpose" of not turning your $3500 workstation into a flaming pool of silicon. The author is not liable for damages resulting from fire, tornadoes, earthquakes, Mongol hordes, covert assassins, Amway salesmen, evil Micro$oft lawyers, acts of God, acts of Satan, acts of Odin, acts of any supernatural beings not previously named, drunken zerglings, plate tectonics, vicious ex-girlfriends, false prophets, true prophets, meteor impacts, evil leprechauns with halitosis, Moonies, Knights who say "Ni!," Elvis impersonators, or dark horse presidential candidates arising from the use of this site.
  • Any legal disputes arising from the terms of this agreement will immediately be settled in the webmaster's favor. The loser of any such dispute agrees to pay any legal costs the webmaster might incur.
  • Residents of Vermont are expressly forbidden access to this site or any website with a domain name starting with the letter "K." Residents of Washington state are required to immediately disconnect their computers and drop them from a third story window.

 

Copyright 2000
by Bryce Anderson

 
Bryce_Anderson@yahoo.com